she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I didn't notice because vodka
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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