Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
