Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
