Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have already put on my inside pants.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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