I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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