hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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