okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
