i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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