And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my being single is dangerous.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
