Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
