margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my phone needs a breathalizer
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
