tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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