wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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