lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
