Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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