If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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