11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
