How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
