dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
