just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
