Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
