Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
