Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
