Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
