The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Randomize
