I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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