I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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