What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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