i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Terrible idea I love it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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