so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
