honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
