And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
