Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
