CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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