Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
