I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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