Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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