Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she was so not down for the gang bang
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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