I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
