i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
