it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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