belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
