i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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