Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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