i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
