I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
