i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
