i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
