so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
