At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
