i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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